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The money moon


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Title:TheMoneyMoonARomance
Author:JefferyFarnol
ReleaseDate:December8,2003[EBook#10418]
Language:English
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MOON***

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THEMONEYMOON
ARomance
By
JEFFERYFARNOL


Authorof"TheBroadHighway,"etc.
FrontispiecebyA.I.KELLER
1911

To"JENNIFER"
TheOneandOnly
WhoseunswervingFAITHwasanInspiration
WhoseGENEROSITYisabye-word;
ThisbookisdedicatedasamarkofGRATITUDEandAFFECTION
JefferyFarnolFeb.10,1910


CONTENTS
CHAPTER
IWHICH,BEINGTHEFIRST,IS,VERYPROPERLY,THESHORTESTCHAPTERINTHE
BOOK
IIHOWGEORGEBELLEWSOUGHTCOUNSELOFHISVALET
IIIWHICHCONCERNSITSELFWITHAHAYCART,ANDABELLIGERENTWAGGONER
IVHOWSMALLPORGESINLOOKINGFORAFORTUNEFORANOTHER,FOUNDAN
UNCLEFORHIMSELFINSTEAD
VHOWBELLEWCAMETOARCADIA
VIOFTHESADCONDITIONOFTHEHAUNTINGSPECTREOFTHEMIGHTHAVEBEEN
VIIWHICHCONCERNSITSELFAMONGOTHERMATTERS,WITH"THEOLDADAM"
VIIIWHICHTELLSOFMISSPRISCILLA,OFPEACHES,ANDOFSERGEANTAPPLEBY
LATEOFTHE19THHUSSARS
IXINWHICHMAYBEFOUNDSOMEDESCRIPTIONOFARCADIA,ANDGOOSEBERRIES
XHOWBELLEWANDADAMENTEREDINTOASOLEMNLEAGUEANDCOVENANT
XIOFTHE"MANWITHTHETIGERMARK"
XIIINWHICHMAYBEFOUNDAFULL,TRUE,ANDPARTICULARACCOUNTOFTHE
SALE
XIIIHOWANTHEACAMEHOME
XIVWHICH,AMONGOTHERTHINGS,HASTODOWITHSHRIMPS,MUFFINS,ANDTIN
WHISTLES
XVINWHICHADAMEXPLAINS
XVIINWHICHADAMPROPOSESAGAME
XVIIHOWBELLEWBEGANTHEGAME


XVIIIHOWTHESERGEANTWENTUPONHISGUARD
XIXINWHICHPORGESBIG,ANDPORGESSMALLDISCUSSTHESUBJECTOF


MATRIMONY
XXWHICHRELATESAMOSTEXTRAORDINARYCONVERSATION
XXIOFSHOES,ANDSHIPS,ANDSEALINGWAX,ANDTHETHIRDFINGEROFTHELEFT
HAND
XXIICOMINGEVENTSCASTTHEIRSHADOWSBEFORE
XXIIIHOWSMALLPORGES,INHISHOUROFNEED,WASDESERTEDBYHISUNCLE
XXIVINWHICHSHALLBEFOUNDMENTIONOFACERTAINBLACKBAG
XXVTHECONSPIRATORS
XXVIHOWTHEMONEYMOONROSE
XXVIIINWHICHISVERIFIEDTHEADAGEOFTHECUPANDTHELIP
XXVIIIWHICHTELLSHOWBELLEWLEFTDAPPLEMEREINTHEDAWN
XXIXOFTHEMOON'SMESSAGETOSMALLPORGES,ANDHOWHETOLDITTO
BELLEW—INAWHISPER
XXXHOWANTHEAGAVEHERPROMISE
XXXIWHICH,BEINGTHELAST,IS,VERYPROPERLY,THELONGEST,INTHEBOOK


CHAPTERI
Which,beingthefirst,is,veryproperly,theshortestchapterinthebook
WhenSylviaMarchmontwenttoEurope,GeorgeBellewbeing,atthesame
time,desirousoftestinghisnewestacquiredyacht,followedher,andmutual
friendsinNewYork,Newport,andelsewhere,confidentlyawaitednewsoftheir
engagement.Great,therefore,wastheirsurprisewhentheylearntofher
approachingmarriagetotheDukeofRyde.
Bellew,beingyoungandrich,hadmanyfriends,verynaturally,who,whilethey
sympathizedwithhisloss,yetagreedamongthemselves,that,despiteBellew's
millions,Sylviahaddonevastlywellforherself,seeingthatadukeisalwaysa
duke,—especiallyinAmerica.
Therewere,also,diversladiesinNewYork,Newport,andelsewhere,and
celebratedfortheirpalatialhomes,theirjewels,andtheirdaughters,whowere
anxioustoknowhowBellewwouldcomporthimselfunderhisdisappointment.
Someleanedtotheideathathewouldimmediatelyblowhisbrainsout;others
opinedthathewouldpromptlysetoffonanotherofhisexploringexpeditions,
andgethimselftorntopiecesbylionsandtigers,ordevouredbyalligators;
whileothersagainfearedgreatlythat,inafitofpique,hewouldmarrysome
"youngperson"unknown,andtherefore,ofcourse,utterlyunworthy.
Howfartheseworthyladieswereright,orwrongintheirsurmises,theywho
takethetroubletoturnthefollowingpages,shallfindout.

CHAPTERII
HowGeorgeBellewsoughtcounselofhisValet


ThefirstintimationBellewreceivedofthefutilityofhishopeswasthe
followingletterwhichhereceivedonemorningashesatatbreakfastinhis
chambersinSt.JamesStreet,W.
MYDEARGEORGE—IamwritingtotellyouthatIlikeyousomuchthatIam
quitesureIcouldnevermarryyou,itwouldbetooridiculous.Liking,yousee
George,isnotlove,isit?Though,personally,Ithinkallthatsortofthingwent
outoffashionwithourgreat-grandmother'shoops,andcrinolines.SoGeorge,I
havedecidedtomarrytheDukeofRyde.Theceremonywilltakeplaceinthree
weekstimeatSt.George's,HanoverSquare,andeveryonewillbethere,of
course.Ifyoucaretocometoo,somuchthebetter.Iwon'tsaythatIhopeyou
willforgetme,becauseIdon't;butIamsureyouwillfindsomeonetoconsole
youbecauseyouaresuchadear,goodfellow,andsoridiculouslyrich.
Sogood-bye,andbestwishes,
Everyoursmostsincerely,
SYLVIA.

Nowundersuchcircumstances,hadBellewsoughtoblivionandconsolation
frombottles,orgoneheadlongtothedevilinanyofothernumerouswaysthat
aremoreorlessinviting,deludedpeoplewouldhavepitiedhim,andshaken
graveheadsoverhim;foritseemsthatdisappointment(moreespeciallyinlove)
maycondonemanyoffences,andcoverasmanysinsasCharity.
ButBellew,knowingnothingofthatlatter-dayhysteriawhichwearsthe
disguise,andcallsitself"Temperament,"andbeingonlyaratherordinaryyoung
man,didnothingofthekind.Havinglightedhispipe,andreadtheletterthrough
again,heranginsteadforBaxter,hisvalet.
Baxterwassmall,andslight,anddapperastoperson,clean-shaven,alertofeye,
andsoftofmovement,—inaword,Baxterwasthecreamofgentlemen's
gentlemen,andtheveryacmeofwhatavaletshouldbe,fromtheveryprecise
partingofhisglossyhair,tothetrimtoesofhisglossyboots.Baxterashasbeen
said,washisvalet,andhadbeenhisfather'svalet,beforehim,andastoage,
mighthavebeenthirty,orforty,orfifty,ashestoodtherebesidethetable,with
oneeye-browraisedatriflehigherthantheother,waitingforBellewtospeak.


"Baxter."
"Sir?"
"Takeaseat."
"Thankyousir."AndBaxtersatdown,nottoonearhismaster,nortoofaroff,
butexactlyattheright,andproperdistance.
"Baxter,Iwishtoconsultwithyou."
"AsbetweenMasterandServant,sir?"
"Asbetweenmanandman,Baxter."
"Verygood,Mr.George,sir!"
"Ishouldliketohearyouropinion,Baxter,astowhatistheproper,andmost
accreditedcoursetoadoptwhenonehasbeen—er—crossedinlove?"
"Whysir,"beganBaxter,slightlywrinklinghissmoothbrow,"sofarasIcancall
tomind,thecoursesusuallyadoptedbydespairinglovers,are,innumber,four."
"Namethem,Baxter."
"First,Mr.George,thereiswhatImayterm,theCourse
Retaliatory,—whichisMarriage—"
"Marriage?"
"With—anotherparty,sir,—ontheprinciplethatthereareasgoodfishinthesea
asevercameout,and—er—pebblesonbeaches,sir;youunderstandme,sir?"
"Perfectly,goon."
"Secondly,thereistheArmy,sir,Ihaveknownofagoodmanyenlistmentson
accountofblightedaffections,Mr.George,sir;indeed,theArmyisvery
popular."
"Ah?"saidBellew,settlingthetobaccoinhispipewiththeaidofthesalt-spoon,
"Proceed,Baxter."


"Thirdly,Mr.George,therearethosewhoarecontentto—tomerelydisappear."
"Hum!"saidBellew.
"Andlastlysir,thoughitisusuallythefirst,—thereisdissipation,
Mr.George.Drink,sir,—theconsolationofbottles,and—"
"Exactly!"noddedBellew."NowBaxter,"hepursued,beginningtodraw
diagramsonthetable-clothwiththesalt-spoon,"knowingmeasyoudo,what
courseshouldyouadvisemetoadopt?"
"Youmean,Mr.George,—speakingasbetweenmanandmanofcourse,—you
meanthatyouareintheunfortunatepositionofbeing—crossedinyour
affections,sir?"
"Also—heart-broken,Baxter."
"Certainly,sir!"
"MissMarchmontmarriestheDukeofHyde,—inthreeweeks,Baxter."
"Indeed,sir!"
"Youwere,Ibelieve,awareofthefactthatMissMarchmontandIwereasgood
asengaged?"
"Ihad—hem!—gatheredasmuch,sir."
"Then—confounditall,Baxter!—whyaren'tyousurprised?"
"Iamquite—over-come,sir!"saidBaxter,stoopingtorecoverthesalt-spoon
whichhadslippedtothefloor.
"Consequently,"pursuedBellew,"Iam—er—broken-hearted,asItoldyou—"
"Certainly,sir."
"Crushed,despondent,andutterlyhopeless,Baxter,andshallbe,henceforth,
pursuedbythe—er—HauntingSpectreoftheMightHaveBeen."
"Verynatural,sir,indeed!"


"Icouldhavehoped,Baxter,that,havingservedmesolong,—nottomentionmy
father,youwouldhaveshownjusta—ershademorefeelinginthematter."
"Andifyouweretoaskme,—asbetweenmanandmansir,—whyIdon'tshow
morefeeling,then,speakingastheoldservantofyourrespectedfather,Master
George,sir,—Ishouldbegmostrespectfullytosaythatregardingtheladyin
question,herconductisnotintheleastsurprising,MissMarchmontbeinga
beauty,andawareofthefact,MasterGeorge.Referringtoyourheart,sir,Iam
readytoswearthatitisnotevencracked.Andnow,sir,—whatclothesdoyou
proposetowearthismorning?"
"Andpray,whyshouldyoubesoconfidentofregardingthe—er—conditionof
myheart?"
"Because,sir,—speakingasyourfather'soldservant,MasterGeorge,Imake
boldtosaythatIdon'tbelievethatyouhaveeverbeeninlove,orevenknow
whatloveis,MasterGeorge,sir."
Bellewpickedupthesalt-spoon,balanceditverycarefullyuponhisfinger,and
putitdownagain.
"Nevertheless,"saidhe,shakinghishead,"Icanseeformyselfbutthedreary
perspectiveofahopelessfuture,Baxter,blastedbytheHauntingSpectreofthe
MightHaveBeen;—I'lltroubleyoutopushthecigarettesalittlenearer."
"Andnow,sir,"saidBaxter,asherosetostrike,andapplythenecessarymatch,
"whatsuitwillyouwearto-day?"
"Somethingintweeds."
"Tweeds,sir!surelyyouforgetyourappointmentwiththeLadyCecilyPrynne,
andherparty?LordMountclairhadmeonthetelephone,lastnight—"
"Alsoagood,heavywalking-stick,Baxter,andaknap-sack."
"Aknap-sack,sir?"
"Ishallsetoutonawalkingtour—inanhour'stime."
"Certainly,sir,—whereto,sir?"


"Ihaven'ttheleastidea,Baxter,butI'mgoing—inanhour.Onthewhole,ofthe
fourcoursesyoudescribeforonewhoselifeisblighted,whoseheart,—Isay
whoseheart,Baxter,isbroken,—utterlysmashed,and—er—shiveredbeyond
repair,Iprefertodisappear—inanhour,Baxter."
"Shallyoudrivethetouringcar,sir,orthenewracer?"
"Ishallwalk,Baxter,alone,—inanhour."

CHAPTERIII
Whichconcernsitselfwithahay-cart,andabelligerentWaggoner
ItwasuponacertainAugustmorningthatGeorgeBellewshookthedustof
Londonfromhisfeet,and,leavingChance,orDestinytodirecthim,followeda
hap-hazardcourse,carelessalikeofhow,orwhen,orwhere;sighingasoften,
andasheavilyasheconsideredhisheart-brokenconditionrequired,—whichwas
veryoften,andveryheavily,—yetheeding,forallthat,thegloryofthesun,and
thestirandbustleofthestreetsabouthim.
Thusitwasthat,beingcarelessofhisultimatedestination,Fortune
condescendedtotakehimunderherwing,(ifshehasone),andguidedhissteps
acrosstheriver,intothelovelylandofKent,—thatcountyofgentlehills,and
broad,pleasantvalleys,ofwindingstreamsandshadywoods,ofrichmeadows
andsmilingpastures,ofgrassylanesandfragranthedgerows,—thatmost
delightfullandwhichhasbeencalled,andveryrightly,"TheGardenof
England."
Itwasthus,ashasbeensaid,uponafairAugustmorning,thatBellewsetouton
whathetermed"awalkingtour."ThereservationisnecessarybecauseBellew's
ideaofawalking-tourisoriginal,andquaint.Hebeganverywell,forBellew,—
inthemorninghewalkedverynearlyfivemiles,and,intheafternoon,beforehe
wasdiscovered,heaccomplishedtenmoreonahay-cartthathappenedtobe
goinginhisdirection.
Hehadswunghimselfupamongthehay,unobservedbythesomnolentdriver,
andhadriddenthusanhourormoreinthatdeliciousstatebetweenwaking,and


sleeping,erethewaggonerdiscoveredhim,whereuponensuedthefollowing
colloquy:
THEWAGGONER.(Indignantly)Hallothere!whatmightyoubeadoingofin
myhay?
BELLEW.(Drowsily)Enjoyingmyselfimmensely.
THEWAGGONER.(Growling)Well,yougetouto'that,andsharpaboutit.
BELLEW.(Yawning)Notonyourlife!Nosir,—'notforCadwalladerandallhis
goats!'
THEWAGGONER.Youjestgetdownouto'myhay,—nowcome!
BELLEW.(Sleepily)Enough,goodfellow,—goto!—thyvoiceoffendsmineear!
THEWAGGONER.(Threateningly)Earbeblowed!Ifyedon'tgetdownouto'
myhay,—I'llcomean'throwyeout.
BELLEW.(Drowsily)'Twouldbeanactofwantonaggressionthatlikesmenot.
THEWAGGONER.(Dubiously)Wherebeyegoin'?
BELLEW.Whereveryouliketotakeme;Thywayshallbemyway,and—er—
thypeople—(Yawn)Sodriveon,myrusticJehu,andHeaven'sblessingsprosper
thee!
Sayingwhich,Bellewclosedhiseyesagain,sighedplaintively,andoncemore
composedhimselftoslumber.
Buttodriveon,theWaggoner,veryevidently,hadnomind;instead,flingingthe
reinsuponthebacksofhishorses,heclimbeddownfromhisseat,andspitting
onhishands,clenchedthemintofistsandshookthemupattheyawningBellew,
oneaftertheother.
"Itbeenough,"saidhe,"toraisethe'OldAdam'insideo'meto'aveatrampero'
theroadsa-snoringinmyhay,—butIain'ta-goingtobecallednames,intothe
bargain.'Rusty'—Imaybe,butIreckonI'mgoodenoughforthelikeso'you,—
socomeondown!"andtheWaggonershookhisfistsagain.


Hewasaverysquareman,wasthisWaggoner,squareofhead,squareofjaw,
andsquareofbody,withtwinklingblueeyes,andapleasant,good-naturedface;
but,justnow,theeyesgleamed,andthefacewassetgrimly,and,altogether,he
lookedaveryuglyopponent.
ThereforeBellewsighedagain,stretchedhimself,and,veryreluctantly,climbed
downoutofthehay.Nosoonerwashefairlyintheroad,thantheWaggoner
wentforhimwitharush,andawhirlofknottedfists.Itwasverydustyinthat
particularspotsothatitpresentlyroseinacloud,inthemidstofwhich,the
battleraged,fastandfurious.
And,inawhile,theWaggoner,risingoutoftheditch,grinnedtosee
Bellewwipingbloodfromhisface.
"Youbeno—fool!"pantedtheWaggoner,moppinghisfacewiththeendofhis
neckerchief."Leastways—notwi'yourfists."
"Why,youareprettygoodyourself,ifitcomestothat,"returnedBellew,
moppinginhisturn.Thustheystoodawhilestanchingtheirwounds,andgazing
uponeachotherwithamutual,andgrowingrespect.
"Well?"enquiredBellew,whenhehadrecoveredhisbreathsomewhat,"shallwe
beginagain,ordoyouthinkwehavehadenough?Tobesure,Ibegintofeel
muchbetterforyourefforts,yousee,exerciseiswhatImostneed,justnow,on
accountofthe—er—HauntingSpectreoftheMightHaveBeen,—tooffsetits
effect,youknow;butitisuncomfortablywarmworkhere,inthesun,isn'tit?"
"Ah!"noddedtheWaggoner,"itbe."
"Thensupposewe—er—continueourjourney?"saidBellewwithhisdreamy
gazeuponthetemptingloadofsweet-smellinghay.
"Ah!"noddedtheWaggoneragain,beginningtorolldownhissleeves,"suppose
wedo;Iaren'tabovegivingalifttoachapascanuse'isfists,—notevenif'eisa
vagrant,andauncommondustyoneatthat;—so,ifyou'reinthesamemind
aboutit,upyouget,—butnomorefurrincurses,mind!"Withwhichadmonition,
theWaggonernodded,grinned,andclimbedbacktohisseat,whileBellew
swunghimselfupintothehayoncemore.
"Friend,"saidhe,asthewaggoncreakeduponitsway,"Doyousmoke?"


"Ah!"noddedtheWaggoner.
"Thenherearethreecigarswhichyoudidn'tmanagetosmashjustnow."
"Cigars!whyitain'toftenasIgetssofarasacigar,unlessitbeSquire,or
Parson,—cigars,eh!"Sayingwhich,theWaggonerturnedandacceptedthe
cigarswhichheproceededtostowawayinthecavernousinteriorofhiswideeavedhat,handlingthemwithelaboratecare,ratherasiftheywereexplosivesof
ahighlydangerouskind.
Meanwhile,GeorgeBellew,AmericanCitizen,andmillionaire,layuponthe
broadofhisback,staringupatthecloudlessblueabove,anddespiteheartbreak,
andacertainHauntingShadow,feltsingularlycontent,whichfeelinghewasat
somepainswithhimselftoaccountfor.
"It'stheexercise,"saidhe,speakinghisthoughtaloud,ashestretched
luxuriouslyuponhissoft,andfragrantcouch,"afterall,thereisnothinglikea
littleexercise."
"That'swhattheyallsay!"noddedtheWaggoner."ButInoticeasthemassays
it,ain'toverfondo'doingofit,—theymostlypreferstolieontheirbacks,an'
talkaboutit,—likeyourself."
"Hum!"saidBellew,"ha!'Someareborntoexercise,someachieveexercise,and
some,likemyself,haveexercisethrustuponthem.'But,anyway,itisavery
excellentthing,—moreespeciallyifoneisaffectedwitha—er—brokenheart."
"Aw'ot?"enquiredtheWaggoner.
"Blightedaffections,then,"sighedBellew,settlinghimselfmorecomfortablyin
thehay.
"Youaren't'intingat—love,areye?"enquiredtheWaggonercockinga
somewhatsheepisheyeathim.
"Iwas,but,justatpresent,"andhereBellewloweredhisvoice,"itisa—er—
ratherpainfulsubjectwithme,—letus,therefore,talkofsomethingelse."
"Youdon'tmeantosayasyour'eart'sbroke,doye?"enquiredtheWaggonerina
toneofsuchvastsurpriseanddisbelief,thatBellewturned,andproppedhimself


onanindignantelbow.
"Andwhythedeucenot?"heretorted,"myheartisnomoreimperviousthan
anyoneelse's,—confoundit!"
"But,"saidtheWaggoner,"youain'tgotthelookofa'eart-brokecove,nomore
thanSquireCassilis,—whichthesameIheardtellingMissAntheaas'is'eart
werebroke,nolaterthanyesterday,attwoo'clockinthearternoon,aseverwas."
"Anthea!"repeatedBellew,blinkingdrowsilyupattheskyagain,"thatisavery
quaintname,andverypretty."
"Pretty,—ah,—an'so'sMissAnthea!—asapict'er."
"Oh,really?"yawnedBellew.
"Ah!"noddedtheWaggoner,"thereain'taman,inorouto'theparish,from
Squiredown,asdon'tthinktheverysame."
Buthere,theWaggoner'svoicetailedoffintoameaninglessdronethatbecame
mergedwiththecreakingofthewheels,theploddinghoof-strokesofthehorses,
andBellewfellasleep.
Hewasawakenedbyfeelinghimselfshakenlustily,and,sittingup,sawthatthey
hadcometowhereanarrowlanebranchedofffromthehighroad,andwound
awaybetweengreattrees.
"Yon'syourway,"noddedtheWaggoner,pointingalongthehighroad,
"Dapplemerevillageliesoveryonder,'boutamile."
"Thankyouverymuch,"saidBellew,"butIdon'twantthevillage."
"No?"enquiredtheWaggoner,scratchinghishead.
"Certainlynot,"answeredBellew.
"Then—whatdoyewant?"
"Ohwell,I'lljustgoonlyinghere,andseewhatturnsup,—sodriveon,likethe
goodfellowyouare."


"Can'tbedone!"saidtheWaggoner.
"Whynot?"
"Why,sinceyouaxme—becauseIdon'thavetodrivenofarther.Therebethe
farm-house,—overtheup-landyonder,youcan'tseeitbecauseo'thetrees,but
thereitbe."
So,Bellewsighedresignedly,and,perforce,climbeddownintotheroad.
"WhatdoIoweyou?"heenquired.
"Oweme!"saidtheWaggoner,staring.
"Fortheride,andthe—er—verynecessaryexerciseyouaffordedme."
"Lord!"criedtheWaggonerwithasudden,greatlaugh,"youdon'toweme
nothin'forthat,—notnohow,—Ioweyouoneforaknockingofmeintothat
ditch,backyonder,though,tobesure,Ididgiveyeoneortwogood'uns,didn't
I?"
"Youcertainlydid!"answeredBellewsmiling,andheheldouthishand.
"Hey!—whatbethis?"criedtheWaggoner,staringdownatthebrightfiveshillingpieceinhispalm.
"Well,Iratherthinkit'sfiveshillings,"saidBellew."It'sbigenough,heaven
knows.EnglishmoneyisallO.K.,Isuppose,butit'sconfoundedlyconfusing,
andratherheavytodragaroundifyouhappentohaveenoughofit—"
"Ah!"noddedtheWaggoner,"butthennobodyneverhasenoughofit,—
leastways,Ineverknowednobodyashad.Good-bye,sir!andthankee,and—
goodluck!"sayingwhich,theWaggonerchirruppedtohishorses,slippedthe
coinintohispocket,nodded,andthewaggoncreakedandrumbledupthelane.
Bellewstrolledalongtheroad,breathinganairfragrantwithhoney-sucklefrom
thehedges,andfullofthesongofbirds;pausing,nowandthen,tolistentothe
blythecarolofasky-lark,ortherich;sweetnotesofablack-bird,andfeeling
thatitwasindeed,goodtobealive;sothat,whatwithallthis,—thespringyturf
beneathhisfeet,andtheblueexpanseover-head,hebegantowhistleforvery


joyofit,until,rememberingtheHauntingShadowoftheMightHaveBeen,he
checkedhimself,andsighedinstead.Presently,turningfromtheroad,he
climbedastile,andfollowedanarrowpaththatledawayacrossthemeadows,
and,ashewent,theremethimagentlewindladenwiththesweet,warmscentof
ripeninghops,andfruit.
Onhewent,andon,—heedlessofhisdirectionuntilthesungrewlow,andhe
grewhungry;wherefore,lookingabout,hepresentlyespiedanooksheltered
fromthesun'slevelraysbyasteepbankwhereflowersbloomed,andfernsgrew.
Herehesatdown,unslinginghisknap-sack,andhereitwas,also,thathefirst
encounteredSmallPorges.

CHAPTERIV
HowSmallPorgesinlookingforafortuneforanother,foundanUnclefor
Himselfinstead
ThemeetingofGeorgeBellewandSmallPorges,(asheafterwardcametobe
called),wassudden,precipitate,andwhollyunexpected;anditbefellonthis
wise:
Bellewhadopenedhisknap-sack,hadfishedthencecheese,clasp-knife,anda
crustyloafofbread,and,havingexertedhimselfsofar,hadfallenathinkingora
dreaming,inhischaracteristicattitude,i.e.:—ontheflatofhisback,whenhe
wasawareofacrashinthehedgeabove,andthen,ofsomethingthathurtledpast
him,allarmsandlegs,thatrolledovertwoorthreetimes,andeventually
broughtupinasittingposture;and,liftingalazyhead,Bellewobservedthatit
wasaboy.Hewasaverydiminutiveboywitharoundheadcoveredwith
copperycurls,aboywhostaredatBellewoutofapairofveryround,blueeyes,
whilehetenderlycherishedaknee,andanelbow.Hehadbeenonthebrinkof
tearsforamoment,butmeetingBellew'squizzicalgaze,hemanfullyrepressed
theweakness,and,liftingthesmall,andsomewhatweather-beatencapthat
foundaprecariousperchatthebackofhiscurlyhead,hegravelywishedBellew
"Goodafternoon!"
"Wellmet,myLordChesterfield!"noddedBellew,returningthesalute,"areyou
hurt?"


"Justabit—ontheelbow;butmyname'sGeorge."
"Why—soismine!"saidBellew.
"Thoughtheycallme'Georgy-Porgy.'"
"Ofcoursetheydo,"noddedBellew,"theyusedtocallmethesame,onceupona
time,—
GeorgyPorgy,puddingandpie
Kissedthegirls,andmadethemcry,
thoughIneverdidanythingofthekind,—onedoesn'tdothatsortofthingwhen
oneisyoung,—andwise,thatcomeslater,andbringsitsowncare,and—er—
heart-break."HereBellewsighed,andhackedapiecefromtheloafwiththe
clasp-knife."Areyouhungry,GeorgyPorgy?"heenquired,glancingupatthe
boywhohadrisen,andwasremovingsomeofthesoilanddustfromhissmall
personwithhiscap.
"YesIam."
"Thenhereisbread,andcheese,andbottledstout,—sofallto,goodcomrade."
"Thankyou,butI'vegotapieceofbreadan'jaminmybundle,—"
"Bundle?"
"IdroppeditasIcamethroughthehedge,I'llgetit,"andashespoke,heturned,
and,climbingupthebank,presentlycamebackwithaverysmallbundlethat
dangledfromtheendofaverylongstick,andseatinghimselfbesideBellew,he
proceededtoopenit.There,sureenough,wasthebreadandjaminquestion,
seeminglyalittletheworseforwearandtear,forBellewobservedvarious
articlesadheringtoit,amongstotherthings,abatteredpenknife,andatop.
These,however,werereadilyremoved,andGeorgyPorgyfelltowithexcellent
appetite.
"Andpray,"enquiredBellew,aftertheyhadmunchedsilentlytogether,some
while,"praywheremightyoubegoing?"
"Idon'tknowyet,"answeredGeorgyPorgywithashakeofhiscurls.


"Goodagain!"exclaimedBellew,"neitherdoI."
"ThoughI'vebeenthinkingofAfrica,"continuedhisdiminutivecompanion,
turningtheremainofthebreadandjamoverandoverthoughtfully.
"Africa!"repeatedBellew,staring,"that'squiteagoodishstepfromhere."
"Yes,"sighedGeorgyPorgy,"but,yousee,there'sgoldthere,oh,lotsofit!they
digitoutofthegroundwithshovels,youknow.OldAdamtoldmeall'boutit;
an'it'sgoldI'mlookingfor,yousee,I'mtryingtofindafortune."
"I—er—begyourpardon—?"saidBellew.
"Money,youknow,"explainedGeorgyPorgywithapatientsigh,"pounds,an'
shillings,an'bank-notes—inasackifIcangetthem."
"AndwhatdoessuchaverysmallGeorgyPorgywantsomuchmoneyfor?"
"Well,it'sformyAuntie,youknow,soshewon'thavetosellherhouse,an'go
awayfromDapplemere.Shewastellingme,lastnight,whenIwasinbed,—she
alwayscomestotuckmeup,youknow,an'shetoldmeshewas'fraidwe'dhave
tosellDapplemerean'gotolivesomewhereelse.SoIaskedwhy,an'shesaid
''causeshehadn'tanymoney,'an''OhGeorgy!'shesaid,'ohGeorgy,ifwecould
onlyfindenoughmoneytopayoffthe—the—'"
"Mortgage?"suggestedBellew,ataventure.
"Yes,—that'sit,buthowdidyouknow?"
"Nevermindhow,goonwithyourtale,GeorgyPorgy."
"'If—wecouldonlyfindenoughmoney,orsomebodywouldleaveusafortune,'
shesaid,—an'shewascryingtoo,'causeIfeltatearfallonme,youknow.So
thismorningIgotup,awful'early,an'mademyselfabundleonastick,—like
DickWhittingtonhadwhenhelefthome,an'Istartedofftofindafortune."
"Isee,"noddedBellew.
"ButIhaven'tfoundanything—yet,"saidGeorgyPorgy,withalongsigh,"I
s'posemoneytakesalotoflookingfor,doesn'tit?"


"Sometimes,"Bellewanswered."AnddoyoulivealonewithyourAuntiethen,
GeorgyPorgy?"
"Yes;—mostboyslivewiththeirmothers,butthat'swhereI'mdifferent,Idon't
needone'causeI'vegotmyAuntieAnthea."
"Anthea!"repeatedBellew,thoughtfully.Hereupontheyfellsilent,Bellew
watchingthesmokecurlupfromhispipeintothewarm,stillair,andGeorgy
Porgywatchinghimwithverythoughtfuleyes,andasomewhattroubledbrow,
asifturningoversomeweightymatterinhismind;atlast,hespoke:
"Please,"saidhe,withasuddendiffidence,"wheredoyoulive?"
"Live,"repeatedBellew,smiling,"undermyhat,—here,there,andeverywhere,
whichmeans—nowhereinparticular."
"ButI—Imean—whereisyourhome?"
"Myhome,"saidBellew,exhalingagreatcloudofsmoke,"myhomelies
beyondthe'boundingbillow."
"Thatsoundsanawful'longwayoff."
"Itisanawful'longwayoff."
"An'wheredoyousleepwhile—whileyou'rehere?"
"Anywherethey'llletme.To-nightIshallsleepatsomeinn,Isuppose,ifIcan
findone,ifnot,—underahedge,orhay-rick."
"Oh!—haven'tyougotanyhomeofyourown,then,—here?"
"No."
"And—you'renotgoinghomejustyet,—Imeanacrossthe'boundingbillow?'"
"Notyet."
"Then—please—"thesmallboy'svoicewassuddenlytremulousandeager,and
helaidalittle,grimyhanduponBellew'ssleeve,"please—ifitisn'ttoomuch
trouble—wouldyoumindcomingwithme—to—tohelpmetofindthefortune?


—yousee,youaresoverybig,an'—Oh!—willyouplease?"
GeorgeBellewsatupsuddenly,andsmiled;Bellew'ssmilewas,atalltimes,
wonderfullypleasanttosee,atleast,theboythoughtso.
"GeorgyPorgy,"saidhe,"youcanjustbetyoursmalllife,Iwill,—andthere's
myhandonit,oldchap."Bellew'slipsweresolemnnow,butallthebestofhis
smileseemed,somehow,tohavegotintohisgrayeyes.Sothebighandclasped
thesmallone,andastheylookedateachother,theresprangupacertain
understandingthatwastobeanenduringbondbetweenthem.
"Ithink,"saidBellew,ashelay,andpuffedathispipeagain,"IthinkI'llcallyou
Porges,it'sshorter,easier,andIthink,altogetherapt;I'llbeBigPorges,andyou
shallbeSmallPorges,—whatdoyousay?"
"Yes,it'slotsbetterthanGeorgyPorgy,"noddedtheboy.AndsoSmallPorges
hebecame,thenceforth."But,"saidhe,afterathoughtfulpause,"Ithink,ifyou
don'tmind,I'drathercallyou——UnclePorges.Yousee,DickBennet—the
black-smith'sboy,hasthreeunclesan'I'veonlygotasingleaunt,—so,ifyou
don'tmind—"
"UnclePorgesitshallbe,nowandforever,Amen!"murmuredBellew.
"An'whend'yous'posewe'dbetterstart?"enquiredSmallPorges,beginningto
re-tiehisbundle.
"Startwhere,nephew?"
"Tofindthefortune."
"Hum!"saidBellew.
"Ifwecouldmanagetofindsome,—evenifitwasonlyaverylittle,itwould
cheerherupso."
"Tobesureitwould,"saidBellew,and,sittingup,hepitchedloaf,cheese,and
clasp-knifebackintotheknap-sack,fastenedit,slungituponhisshoulders,and
rising,tookuphisstick.
"Comeon,myPorges,"saidhe,"and,whateveryoudo—keepyour'weathereye'


onyouruncle."
"Wheredoyous'posewe'dbetterlookfirst?"enquiredSmallPorges,eagerly.
"Why,first,Ithinkwe'dbetterfindyourAuntieAnthea."
"But,—"beganPorges,hisfacefalling.
"Butmenobuts,myPorges,"smiledBellew,layinghishanduponhisnewfoundnephew'sshoulder,"butmenobuts,boy,and,asIsaidbefore,—justkeep
youreyeonyouruncle."

CHAPTERV
HowBellewcametoArcadia
So,theysetouttogether,BigPorgesandSmallPorges,walkingsidebysideover
sun-kissedfieldandmeadow,slowlyandthoughtfully,tobesure,forBellew
dislikedhurry;oftenpausingtolistentothemusicofrunningwaters,ortostare
awayacrossthepurplevalley,forthesunwasgettinglow.And,everasthey
went,theytalkedtooneanotherwhole-heartedlyasgoodfriendsshould.
And,fromtheboy'seagerlips,Bellewheardmuchof"AuntieAnthea,"and
learned,littlebylittle,somethingofthebravefightshehadmade,lonelyand
unaided,andburdenedwithancientdebt,tomakethefarmofDapplemerepay.
LikewiseSmallPorgesspokelearnedlyoftheconditionofthemarkets,andof
thedistressingfallinpricesinregardtohay,andwheat.
"OldAdam,—he'sourman,youknow,hesaysthatfarmingisn'twhatitwasin
hisyoungdays,'speciallyifyouhappentobeawoman,likemyAuntieAnthea,
an'hetoldmeyesterdaythatifhewereAuntiehe'dgiveuptrying,an'takeMr.
Cassilisathisword."
"Cassilis,ah!—AndwhoisMr.Cassilis?"
"Helivesat'BramptonCourt'—agreat,bighouse'boutamilefromDapplemere;
an'he'salwaysaskingmyAuntietomarryhim,but'courseshewon'tyouknow."


"Whynot?"
"Well,Ithinkit's'causehe'sgotsuchbig,whiteteethwhenhesmiles,—an'he's
alwayssmiling,youknow;butOldAdamsaysthatifhe'dbeenbornawoman
he'dmarryamanallteeth,ornoteethatall,ifhehadasmuchmoneyasMr.
Cassilis."
ThesunwaslowintheWestas,skirtingawood,theycameoutuponagrassy
lanethatpresentlyledthemintothegreat,broadhighway.
Now,astheytrudgedalongtogether,SmallPorgeswithonehandclaspedin
Bellew's,andtheothersupportingthebundleonhisshoulder,thereappeared,
gallopingtowardsthemamanonafineblackhorse,atsightofwhom,Porges'
clasptightened,andhedrewnearertoBellew'sside.
Whenhewasnearlyabreastofthem,thehorse-mancheckedhiscareerso
suddenlythathisanimalwasthrownbackonhishaunches.
"Why—Georgy!"heexclaimed.
"Goodevening,Mr.Cassilis!"saidSmallPorges,liftinghiscap.
Mr.Cassiliswastall,handsome,wellbuilt,andveryparticularastodress.
Bellewnoticedthathisteethwere,indeed,verylargeandwhite,beneaththe
small,carefullytrainedmoustache;alsohiseyesseemedjustatrifletooclose
together,perhaps.
"Why—whatintheworldhaveyoubeenupto,boy?"heenquired,regarding
Bellewwithnoveryfriendlyeye."YourAuntisworryingherselfillonyour
account,—whathaveyoubeendoingwithyourselfallday?"
AgainBellewfeltthesmallfingerstightenroundhis,andthesmallfigureshrink
alittleclosertohim,asSmallPorgesanswered,
"I'vebeenwithUnclePorges,Mr.Cassilis."
"Withwhom?"demandedMr.Cassilis,moresharply.
"WithhisUnclePorges,sir,"Bellewrejoined,"atrustworthyperson,andvery
muchatyourservice."


Mr.Cassilisstared,hishandbegantostrokeandcaresshissmall,black
moustache,andheviewedBellewfromhisdustybootsuptothecrownofhis
dustyhat,anddownagain,withsuperciliouseyes.
"Uncle?"herepeatedincredulously.
"Porges,"noddedBellew.
"Iwasn'taware,"beganMr.Cassilis,"that—er—Georgewassoveryfortunate
—"
"Baptismalname—George,"continuedBellew,"latelyofNewYork,
Newport,and—er—otherplacesinAmerica,U.S.A.,atpresentof
Nowhere-in-Particular."
"Ah!"saidMr.Cassilis,hiseyesseemingtogrowatriflenearertogether,"an
AmericanUncle?Still,Iwasnotawareofeventhatrelationship."
"Itisasingularlypleasingthought,"smiledBellew,"toknowthatwemaylearn
somethingeveryday,—thatoneneverknowswhatthedaymaybringforth;tomorrow,forinstance,youalsomayfindyourselfanephew—somewhereor
other,though,personally,I—erdoubtit,yes,Igreatlydoubtit;still,onenever
knows,youknow,andwhilethere'slife,there'shope.Averygoodafternoonto
you,sir.Come,nephewmine,theeveningfallsapace,andIgrowaweary,—let
uson—Excelsior!"
Mr.Cassilis'scheekgrewsuddenlyred,hetwirledhismoustacheangrily,and
seemedabouttospeak,thenhesmiledinstead,andturninghishorse,spurred
himsavagely,andgallopedbackdowntheroadinacloudofdust.
"Didyouseehisteeth,UnclePorges?"
"Idid."
"Heonlysmileslikethatwhenhe'sawful'angry,"saidSmallPorgesshakinghis
headasthegallopinghoof-strokesdiedawayinthedistance,"An'whatdoyou
s'posehewentbackfor?"
"Well,Porges,it'sinmymindthathehasgonebacktowarnourAuntie
Antheaofourcoming."


SmallPorgessighed,andhisfeetdraggedinthedust.
"Tired,myPorges?"
"Justabit,youknow,—butitisn'tthat.Iwasthinkingthatthedayhasalmost
gone,an'Ihaven'tfoundabitofthefortuneyet."
"Whythere'salwaysto-morrowtolivefor,myPorges."
"Yes,'course—there'salwaysto-morrow;an'then,—Ididfindyou,youknow,
UnclePorges."
"Tobesureyoudid,andanuncleisbetterthannothingatall,isn'the,—evenif
heisratherdustyanddisreputableofexterior.Onedoesn'tfindanuncleevery
dayofone'slife,myPorges,nosir!"
"An'youaresonicean'big,youknow!"saidPorges,viewingBellewwitha
bright,approvingeye.
"Long,wouldbeabetterword,perhaps,"suggestedBellew,smilingdownat
him.
"An'wide,too!"noddedSmallPorges.And,fromthesetwofactsheseemedto
deriveadealofsolidcomfort,andsatisfactionforhestrodeonmanfullyonce
more.
Leavingthehigh-road,heguidedBellewbydiverswindingpaths,throughcornfields,andoverstiles,until,atlength,theywerecometoanorchard.Suchan
orchardassurelymayonlybefoundinKent,—wheregreatapple-trees,gnarled,
andknotted,shotouthugebranchesthatseemedtotwist,andwrithe;where
werestatelypeartrees;wherepeaches,andapricots,ripenedagainsttime-worn
wallswhoseredbricksstillglowedrosilyforalltheiryears;wheretheairwas
sweetwiththescentoffruit,andfragrantwiththyme,andsage,andmarjoram;
andwheretheblack-birds,boldmaraudersthattheyare,pipedgloriouslyallday
long.Inthemidstofthisorchardtheystopped,andSmallPorgesrestedonehand
againsttheruggedboleofagreat,oldappletree.
"This,"saidhe,"ismyveryowntree,becausehe'ssoverybig,an'sovery,very
old,—Adamsayshe'stheoldesttreeintheorchard.Icallhim'KingArthur'
'causeheissobig,an'strong,—justlikeakingshouldbe,youknow,—an'allthe


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